Upload one photo and your 5 month old becomes this quarter's cover star — exclusive interview, playful stats worked out from their actual birthday, the works. Free to make and share. The clean, frame-ready file is $7.99.
Five months is the rolling era, which is less a milestone than a security situation. Put the baby down facing up, look away, and they are facing down and deeply aggrieved about it. The cover treats each roll as a documented incident, which is more or less how it feels from the floor.
By five months the numbers are large enough to be genuinely startling in print. The cover reports the rolling era as a run of documented incidents, and the stat block quietly confirms how long this has been going on.
Rolling makes for chaotic photos, so put them on a large plain blanket and shoot from directly above while they are on their back. It is the one month where the overhead frame beats the level one, because the rolling is what gives you the expression.
A real sample, not a mock-up — every number below is worked out from the birthday, so this is what a 5 month old actually gets:
Liam — with the “The Foodie” personality:
5 months in. Infinite potential.
The menu has expanded. My standards have not. Bring it warm and bring it now.
1,100+ bottles of milk drunk · 450+ poops · 2,700+ farts (est.) · 600+ outfit changes
A clear shot of the face works best — we'll frame it like they own the place.
First name, birthday, and a personality. That's the whole interview — we write every word.
Share it free, or grab the clean 8.5×11 file and frame it.
Watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 350 DPI — prints true-size on letter paper at home.
Making and sharing the cover is free (it carries a small watermark). The paid download is a clean, watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 350 DPI for $7.99 — that's exactly US Letter, so it prints true-size on paper at home or at any print shop.
Upload one photo, add the first name and birthday, and pick a personality. The cover writes itself in under a minute — interview, cover lines, stat block. No account needed.
The birthday. Every number is worked out from how old the baby actually is that day — at 5 months that comes out as 1,100+ bottles of milk drunk, 450+ poops, 2,700+ farts (est.). Nothing is invented, which is what makes the numbers funny.
Yes. Covers live at an unlisted link only you can share, they're never shown publicly or used for advertising, and free covers are automatically deleted after about 30 days.
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