Upload one photo and your 7 month old becomes this quarter's cover star — exclusive interview, playful stats worked out from their actual birthday, the works. Free to make and share. The clean, frame-ready file is $7.99.
Seven months is the age of the deeply suspicious stare. Anything new is assessed at length before any commitment is made, and visitors are firmly on notice. The cover's deadpan register fits this perfectly — a portrait of somebody taking the entire business extremely seriously, and a caption that does the same.
The deadpan interview format suits a seven month old better than almost any other age, because the suspicion is entirely genuine. The cover answers questions nobody asked with total gravity, which is roughly the expression already on the face.
The suspicious look is the shot. Hand them something unfamiliar and photograph the assessment instead of angling for a smile: it is far more characteristic of seven months, and it sits much better under a deadpan headline.
A real sample, not a mock-up — every number below is worked out from the birthday, so this is what a 7 month old actually gets:
Noah — with the “The Diva” personality:
7 months in. Infinite potential.
I don't sit. I hold a pose. And when I topple, I topple beautifully, to gasps.
1,500+ bottles of milk drunk · 600+ poops · 3,800+ farts (est.) · 800+ outfit changes
A clear shot of the face works best — we'll frame it like they own the place.
First name, birthday, and a personality. That's the whole interview — we write every word.
Share it free, or grab the clean 8.5×11 file and frame it.
Watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 350 DPI — prints true-size on letter paper at home.
Making and sharing the cover is free (it carries a small watermark). The paid download is a clean, watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 350 DPI for $7.99 — that's exactly US Letter, so it prints true-size on paper at home or at any print shop.
Upload one photo, add the first name and birthday, and pick a personality. The cover writes itself in under a minute — interview, cover lines, stat block. No account needed.
The birthday. Every number is worked out from how old the baby actually is that day — at 7 months that comes out as 1,500+ bottles of milk drunk, 600+ poops, 3,800+ farts (est.). Nothing is invented, which is what makes the numbers funny.
Yes. Covers live at an unlisted link only you can share, they're never shown publicly or used for advertising, and free covers are automatically deleted after about 30 days.
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