Upload one photo and your 2 month old becomes this quarter's cover star — exclusive interview, playful stats worked out from their actual birthday, the works. Free to make and share. The clean, frame-ready file is $7.99.
Somewhere around two months the first real smiles turn up, and they are devastating — largely because they are so obviously conditional. A two month old has worked out that a face can be aimed. The cover leans on exactly that: a portrait with a genuine expression, and copy explaining what that expression cost the household.
The Diva personality reads especially well here, because a two-month smile really is a performance with conditions attached. There is finally enough on the board for the stat block to be funny without any exaggeration, which is when this cover works best.
The smile is new and completely unreliable, so shoot in bursts rather than waiting for the one perfect frame. Keep your own face directly above the lens — a two month old looks at you, not at the camera, and that eye line is the whole shot.
A real sample, not a mock-up — every number below is worked out from the birthday, so this is what a 2 month old actually gets:
Olivia — with the “The Boss” personality:
8 weeks in. Infinite potential.
I don't cry. I communicate. I don't follow a schedule. I set the pace.
450+ bottles of milk drunk · 150+ poops · 1,000+ farts (est.) · 200+ outfit changes
A clear shot of the face works best — we'll frame it like they own the place.
First name, birthday, and a personality. That's the whole interview — we write every word.
Share it free, or grab the clean 8.5×11 file and frame it.
Watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 350 DPI — prints true-size on letter paper at home.
Making and sharing the cover is free (it carries a small watermark). The paid download is a clean, watermark-free 8.5×11 file at 350 DPI for $7.99 — that's exactly US Letter, so it prints true-size on paper at home or at any print shop.
Upload one photo, add the first name and birthday, and pick a personality. The cover writes itself in under a minute — interview, cover lines, stat block. No account needed.
The birthday. Every number is worked out from how old the baby actually is that day — at 2 months that comes out as 450+ bottles of milk drunk, 150+ poops, 1,000+ farts (est.). Nothing is invented, which is what makes the numbers funny.
Yes. Covers live at an unlisted link only you can share, they're never shown publicly or used for advertising, and free covers are automatically deleted after about 30 days.
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